Bring Me to Life
by paramourconspiracy
Summary: You're ruining my life. Totally and completely destroying it, sending me under. You don't even realize what you do to me. And yet, I just can't get enough of you. SasNar Mpreg
1. Hear Me

**Disclaimer: **Do not owneth Naruto and Companaeth. Bute Sasuke _WILL_ BE MINE!

**EDIT 9/28/07: **This story needs a major editing run through. Jesus bloody Christ.

**Genre: **Romance, Humor, Drama/Angst

**Warning:** Yaoi (boyXboy), Sex, Drugs, Very Bad Language, Mpreg (male pregnancy). Sasuke and Naruto's POVs. Also in Normal POV.

"speaking" / _thinking_ / **author (meh)**

Bring Me to Life

**I**: Hear Me

_Call my name and save me from the dark._

A bump into the shoulder.

Staring, more staring, and more intense, awkward staring.

Walk off, look back, walk off - out of sight the next time I look back–underline I for me, please.

That's how it's been since my best friend finally came back to me. I didn't realize I'd miss him so much, until I came to the conclusion that I had to bring him back.

I brought him back.

He's here.

He's here with me now . . . and I have absolutely no idea what to do.

You're probably wondering what the fuck I'm talking about and why it's oh-so-hard to talk to my best friend, that I dragged back to "civilization," because I missed him so damn much.

Well this is the story of how I brought him back to life. And how he almost destroyed mine in the process.

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How did they ever define the word normal?

Everyone has been raving about Sasuke's return, including me . . . Okay, 'including me' in a sense.

I mean, I _would_ be raving, but I don't know _how_

It's sort of awkward. He won't show any emotion, like I actually _forced_ him to come back.

Pfft, I didn't . . .

Um, I mean, I wasn't . . .

Er . . .

Okay maybe I did force him to come back, resulting in a few broken bones. . .ripped ligaments, sprains here and there, et cetera. . .Wow, he's really grown. I wish I could say I feel bad for Itachi, but . . . I don't. How could I possibly? He deserved it so, so badly.

I wonder if Sasuke is anywhere near the level Itachi is at yet? Most would expect me to say that I hope he is because I'm his best friend and I have to be there for him, but in reality, I don't give a shit. He's not going anywhere if I have a say in it. Which I do and always will. I am his best friend after all.

The first two weeks back, Kakashi had to watch over him to make sure he wouldn't run again. I can't do it because I'm already busy with Hokage training, not to mention being in the ANBU certainly takes up a large bundle of my time.

Don't get me wrong! I want nothing more than to spend as much time with Sasuke as I can, but with being in the ANBU, Hokage training, plans with Sakura (I'll tell you about that later, it gets confusing), and Tsunade-obaachan trying to keep me away from him at all times, it gets a little hard . . .

Where would you like me to start?

Um, okay, let's start with me in the ANBU.

Do you remember back when I spent basically my whole life trying to win Sasuke back? . . .Oh god that sounded wrong, sorry. Anyway, well yeah, when Tsunade finally COMPLETELY got tired of it and wouldn't tolerate my obsessing anymore, she ordered me to go out for the ANBU.

I detested the idea of wasting my valuable time with all those missions instead of training and venturing off again and again to bring Sasuke back to the village. But of course, I had no choice in the matter. As you know, Tsunade can be very scary when necessary. . .

Hokage training: a month or so with the whole ANBU thing going for me had almost put Tsunade-obaachan into a mental hospital, sporting the comfortable and fashionable straight jacket.

She thought for two very important and convincing reasons I was ready to start my training as Rokudaime were, one, I see the village as my life's duty, and everything important to me, all the people, whether they shunned and scolded me when I was young or not, I still love them, even more for many now accepting me as me and not the hated but powerful Kyuubi. And two, it'll get me out of her hair about bringing back Sasuke if she keeps me busy . . . Ew, that just occurred to me! Fuck her!

What's next? Ah yes . . . Sakura. Hooray.

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"Yes, Tsunade-sama, I understand."

"Good. That'll be all."

"Yes Tsunade-sama."

"Oh and Sakura?"

"Yes Tsunade-sama?"

"You're annoying me with the formalities. How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tsunade?"

"Sorry, yes, Hokage-sama." Sakura strolled out of a very agitated Godaime's office with a grin on her face. She loved Tsunade like a second mother. It was so much fun picking on her. Not that she picked on her real mother.

"Hey Sakura-chan," Naruto came a-walkin' down the hallway towards his former pink-haired teammate, smiling bright.

Sakura turned with grace towards his approaching self, her grin growing wider at his arrival. She loved spending time with Naruto now. Seeing him, hanging out with him, talking to him, hearing his obnoxious laughs and quarrels with others . . . It was all stuff she learned to love.

"Hi Naruto-kun! How are you?" Yup, that too. She had began a little while after their last encounter to Orochimaru's current headquarters (um, lair) and reunion with Sasuke to refer to him as 'kun' instead of just Naruto. They were getting friendlier ad friendlier with each other by the day . . .

"I'm great. Are you busy right now?" he asked sheepishly, hiding his blush in the shadow of his elbow, his hand rubbing the back of his tanned neck.

Sakura giggled with arched eyes. She loved when he acted so shy. It was so cute. "Nope. Just got off shift for lunch. Want to join me?"

He beamed at her and nodded frantically.

She giggled some more and took his hand, leading him down the twirling stairs.

They stepped up to the small stand, Ichiraku Ramen, one blush and one LARGE smile hand in hand.

Naruto pushed away the curtain for Sakura to walk in. This just happened to be one of those days both I and Naruto would not understand how they ever defined the word normal. So after he politely made space for her to stride in like a queen, against all odds, let me add before I say this, she politely curtsied back to him in respect. He smiled wider, which I think was quite impossible at that point, at the gesture. This was truly the best day of his life. No lie. His heart was beating faster than a hamster on its wheel chasing a huge piece of sirloin steak.

They both sat down on an unoccupied stool. Naruto ordered for Sakura a miso soup, him a simple beef ramen. He wanted to impress his lady by not being too big of a pig today. She only got a miso soup because he found out that she was on a diet . . . Hey, there were _some_ perks to always being in the friend zone.

I'm going to skip all of the unimportant mushy stuff and get straight to the part where Tsunade and a heart-attack come in.

You won't believe this one . . .

". . . Um, uh, T-Tsunade-obaachan . . .?"

Tsunade looked up to the couple holding hands and fidgeting like there was no tomorrow.

She raised a nicely groomed blonde eyebrow. "Yes? What is it Naruto, Sakura?" She looked from one to the other, and just couldn't figure out who was fidgeting and sweating more.

". . . Um, heh, heh heh . . ."

_Oh no . . . Now what has he done? And how did he drag Sakura into it–Wait a minute . . . Are they holding hands? . . . Oh good god . . ._ "SHE'S PREGNANT!" Tsunade gasped at her outburst. She honestly didn't mean to say that out loud.

"_What!_" Naruto almost fainted, Sakura catching him in the act . . . Um, literally. She caught him before he fainted and started fanning his face with her green fingernail-ed hand. It reminds you of Iruka, doesn't it? I always thought that man was a little girly . . . and now he's rubbed off on Naruto.

"I-I am, Tsunade-sama? A-Are you," a deep gulp, "s-sure!?"

Tsunade burst into laughter. Something she didn't mean to do out loud either, but what the heck. This was just to hilarious to bypass. Look at this. Naruto fainting, Sakura on the verge of tears, and Tsunade was the one to cause all of it. Come on, you would laugh too.

She stopped laughing long enough to explain her mistake, before she had a hysterically crying medic-nin and a half-dead jounin in her room. "N-No. No, no. You're not. I thought that was what you were trying to tell me. You're not pregnant, Sakura. Don't worry."

Sakura sighed in relief, halting her oncoming tears. She failed to notice that she had dropped Naruto while doing so. Ahem.

"Ouch! . . . What was that for?" Both women looked down to the headache induced boy, rubbing his throbbing, abused head. Oh woe is our young, emblazoned Naruto.

Sakura looked to Tsunade and winked . . . quite evilly.

Tsunade shook her head doubtfully. That bubble-gum haired nin could be so sadistic sometimes, frankly betraying her expected first expressions . . . But only if it was to Naruto, of course.

"Naru-kun," she knelt down to Naruto and smiled warmly at him. Her small, bony hands cupped her dipped knees. He looked as confused as ever. "Do you know what we were talking about?"

He shot his eyes to Tsunade questionably, but she looked busy doing . . . paperwork. _Bullshit. What's going on?_ His now red hand fell to the floor as he warily looked back to Sakura. He gulped down a very large knot in his throat and slowly but steadily shook his head for a _no_ answer.

She giggled and took his hand in a joyous manner. Her eyes shone with a bright vigor. It scared him. "I'm pregnant!"

Oh poor, poor Naruto. His head was going to be hurting so bad that next morning.

"If he faints one more time, I'm blaming you and you're going to have to pay for his medical bill." Tsunade slammed shut her folder while looking at the nearly dead boy she cared so deeply for on the floor.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him," she said, getting up and smiling. She turned to her Hokage's desk, tending to forget the boy on the carpeted ground next to her. What a perfect couple they are!

"So, Sakura, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Sakura lost her composure as she almost barfed out the wonderful lunch her and Naruto had that day. You see, they had a very memorable picnic. Wanna know why? "Um, um, um, um. . ."

"Spit it out Sakura. I don't have all day." Tsunade was known to get irritated very, very easily.

"Okay. I-I can do this . . . WAKE UP, DAMNIT!" I don't think I need to explain how she continuously started kicking Naruto to wake him up. An honorable couple, indeed.

"Sakura, I'm giving you thirty seconds."

"_What!?_"

". . . 27, 26 . . ."

"Okay, okay!! Stop!"

". . . 23, 22 . . ."

"AGH!"

". . . 17, 16, 15 . . ."

"Miss Tsunade!! ME AND NARUTO ARE GETTING MARRIED!"

I told you you wouldn't believe it.

". . . That's funny Sakura. But come on. I really don't have time for jokes. What did you want to tell me?" She exceeded her timing and went back to doing paperwork, reluctantly . . . Very reluctantly.

". . . Uh, um, t-that was what we wanted to t-tell you . . ."

Tsunade froze. She just froze, like time completely stopped around her and she was supposed to stop with it. She tried moving a hand, but it's like she was just stuck there.

"What?"

Sakura gulped, kind of like what Naruto did just before, but it was a WHOLE lot thicker of a knot. "N-Naruto and I a-are getting . . . married . . ."

"No you're not."

Sakura knew that was coming sooner or later. She didn't really expect Tsunade to approve, but she wanted her to do the ceremony and be the minister. It would be really impressive if the Hokage would do their wedding.

"Please, Tsunade? Pretty please? I really want you to be the minister! Pretty, pretty please, with sugar on top and lots and lots of cherries!?" Oh god, she really lowered herself this time.

Tsunade definitely didn't see this coming. The pregnancy thing was looking pretty damn good at this point. She thought about how she first met Naruto as a little kid, and how he changed her mind about becoming Hokage, and how he always reminded her of her late little brother and late love.

So then it occurred to her. Was she really going to let anybody else do their wedding? They definitely wouldn't not get married just because she didn't want them to. If anything, they would go elope, and she really didn't want that. Naruto was the most important thing in her life right now, and she wanted to be the one giving him his wedding, and no one else. No one else or nothing else was good enough for her Naru-chan.

"Fine."

"Oh come on, please, Tsunade– . . . Wait, what?"

"I said fine, I'll do it. I still think you're too young though." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. This has been the longest and most fucked up day of her life.

"Oh thank you, Tsunade-sama!"

"Oh and Sakura?"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

"Enough with the formalities, please? Call me mom from now on."

Sakura shined so bright, it was blinding. She ran around the desk and hugged Tsunade tighter than she hugged Naruto when he proposed to her.

Yes, a very much fucked up day for Tsunade.

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No, we're not married yet, if that's what you're thinking. Plans are still in progress.

. . . I haven't told Sasuke yet. I have to tell him, because he's gonna be my best man, but I'm not sure how to tell him. What am I supposed to say?

"_Hey, Sasuke! Guess what? I and Sakura are getting married in three weeks! Would you please be my best man?"_

. . . Maybe if I add that he won't have to do anything but walk down the aisle and smile . . . Yeah, he'd never agree to actually smile. Oh I'm so screwed.

The other problem to him being my best man? Tsunade-obaachan not letting him be it. She doesn't want him to have anything to do with me. Why? I have no clue. It's like she thinks he was actually going to kill me! I doubt that highly . . . Don't you?

Oh, so what? He tried to stab me that ONE time. Really now.

Whatever. He'll always be Sasuke. And always my most important person.

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I've been pacing the sidewalk for twenty minutes now, trying to figure out how to ask him to be my best man.

It's really not fair, you know. This is MY wedding, and I'm going all out just so he can be my best man. Fucked up, man.

But honestly? I don't think there is anyone better for the job. He's my best friend, late rival (I've come to the conclusion that that cause is so hopeless, I gave up), and the most important person in my life . . . The only one I ever really cared about accepting me. Now he does, and it's like I still have this empty hole in my heart I'm waiting for him to fill. But neither of us know just how to fill it . . . Well he doesn't actually care. But I do. I may not show it sometimes, behind this sunshine-happy mask I'm always wearing. The truth is that I'm always caring. Always caring what people think of me, what he thinks of me. So inside while I'm really crying, the outside is taunting him, like I'm better, when really, all it is, is that I WANT to be better. Does he know that? Of course he does. He knows everything.

I break from my thoughts and heave a large sigh. I'm getting drenched outside in this thunderstorm that ironically matches with my sad thoughts.

I look up to his mansion. It's beautiful. This happened to be the first time I was ever at his house. I always wanted to be friendlier with him, but he didn't. Just look back to our fight at the Valley of the End . . . Not that it's relevant, but the names a little cheesy, eh? At least no one died that time. That'd be nauseatingly accurate.

I sigh away the unbelievably _pointless_ thoughts once more and make my way up past the gigantic black gates protecting his estate.

One step after another.

Step. _Splash._

Step. _Splash._

God damnit, why did this path have to be so _long?_

I looked up to his steel plated and black fine-wood double doors. I never noticed he had his clan symbol on both. It looked nice.

My shaking hand, whether from the cold or because I was nervous, I couldn't tell, reached up towards the door and gently knocked on it, half-hoping he wouldn't answer and half-hoping he would.

In my mind, I flipped a coin to see which half would win.

Tales.

And everyone knows tales comes second.

_Click._

"What do you want?"

. . . It hit me so hard across the head, I thought I might have had brain damage. These four words were the first words he had said to me at all since he was back. Through all my plans for the wedding, all my Hokage training, all my missions with the ANBU, I had never cared to notice that I hadn't talked to Sasuke _at all_.

I find so much shame in myself, it hurts. All that talk about me caring, and I didn't even give a fucking care to talk to him once.

I hate myself so much right now, I'm shaking.

. . . Wait, was that why I was shaking?

Oh great. More fainting.

The last thing I remember is Sasuke looking at me with me an expressionless face as I fall to the floor.

I wasn't sure if that was better than him glaring at me or not, but as I fell, I felt dreadfully worse than I did before.

Dying sounded pretty fucking good. Like having a best man for your wedding.

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I'll be fixing the rest too. Bye!

_Love,_

**Paramour**


	2. Alarm Me

**Disclaimer:** Nah. Naruto isn't mine. . .And even if Sasuke doesn't belong to me, he is still tied up in my closet doing this story. Thank you Kishimoto-sama for lending him to me. -Snuggles Sasuke-

**EDIT 1/5/08: **Next fixer-upper! (Hahaha...ha. Took a while, didn't I?)

**Genre:** Romance, Humor, Drama/Angst

**Warning:** Shōnen-ai, Sex, Drugs, Very Bad Language, Mpreg (male pregnancy). Sasuke and Naruto's POVs. Also in Normal POV.

"speaking" / _thinking_ / **author (meh)** /_**Kyuubi **_("_Naruto talking back to him._")

Bring Me to Life

**II**: False Alarm

_There isn't many memories I'm comfortable to keep._

Naruto awoke to dim lighting and a quietly chirping fireplace. If he wasn't so fucking cold, he would have said that it was way too hot in this room. Whoever had the idea to put on a fireplace in the middle of spring is a complete moron.

. . . And that was just it. It wasn't his house.

He shot up into a sitting position, in the process squeaking a seemingly very comfortable leather couch beneath him. Where the hell was he?

**Naruto POV;;**

I wonder if it's possible to kidnap a ninja . . . A hokage-to-be ninja . . . An ANBU captain hokage-to-be ninja . . . Do I really have to go on? Because you know I can.

I gaze around at my surroundings: A very-fuckin'-large livingroom, containing the said couch I'm sitting on, a big puffy quilt covering my sick body, that seemingly-homey, crackling fireplace now warming me up beyond what the quilt could, a glass table supported by black marble, a few love seats here and there, and a lot of empty space not needed.

I notice a few frames atop the fireplace and decide to go look, with a thought of maybe being able to decipher who had taken me hostage.

I slowly slide from under the quilt off the couch, it once again creaking in response.

I glide over to the roaring fireplace, peering over it at the pictures.

The first one, to my surprise, happened to be a very old photo of me glaring over at Sasuke, him scowling, which is so normal it's annoying, Sakura being cute as usual, although a bit rude back then, and Kakashi above us with that one arched eyebrow, like he actually liked us as his team. That liar.

I have that picture too, but wow. I don't think I realized exactly how long it had been. Come on, just count it. Two years since Sasuke left, which I had been training. Then another four with him as Orochimaru's 'body case.' Then maybe about another year getting him back. Good Jesus, that's about seven years right there!

Nineteen years. I am nineteen years old. How fucking scary. I must be a very strong person. I even went six years not having my best friend at my side. It makes me sad. Wouldn't it do the same thing to anybody?

I take an inched step to the right to look at the next picture. With that one I couldn't tell whose house this is . . . It could be Kakashi's. I mean, I've never been there so . . . And it's not Sakura's. That's for sure. It's way too . . . lonely and uh, morbid. Sasuke's? Nah, why would I be at Sasuke's house?

I didn't have time to concentrate on the second photo, because in that second I was faced with the very pale emotionless guy I denied to be in the house of.

"Sasuke? What am I doing here?" I ended my sentence with a sneeze. I laughed nervously, excepting him, as most people, to wipe his face off in disgust. He just won't don't anything! It's seriously started to piss me the hell off, man!

He turned around in one short motion, walking away towards the carpeted stairs.

"If you're able to talk and able to walk then you're fine. Go home."

I gaped. How rude could he possibly be!? I'm getting a whiff of that apparently. "Well you don't have to be a," _achoo, _"complete JERK!"

Then it all started to come back to me as he ascended the stairs. I got sick waiting outside to see him, then fainted. I smiled inwardly at the fact that he gave even a little care for my being to take me inside until I woke up . . . I'm glad. But why was I here in the first place?

Oh yeah! He's supposed to be my best man–Hey! Where is he going!?

"S-Sasuke! Wait!" I ran up the stairs, two steps at a time, after him.

I see him close a door behind himself at the other end of the hall. I curse under my breath at how totally rude and annoying and mean and . . . okay yeah, you get the point. He's being a jerk. But what else is boringly old?

I hurry after him, opening the door in one swift movement. I enter slowly and cautiously, closing the door behind me. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am. I REALLY am. I have no reason to be. I'm just weird. Let's go with that.

Whoa this room is huge. My mind span round and round as I tried to gather myself. "Sasuke?"

He doesn't answer. He's reading a book in the corner. "_**Lonely.**_"

I scowl at my inner demon (literally). "_Sasuke doesn't get lonely._" I tune him out in order to ignore his reply.

I walk over leisurely to his sitting, ("_**Lonely.**_") form. I growl back at Kyuubi. God, he can be so freaking annoying . . .

"Um, Sasuke?"

He still wouldn't answer. I'm lucky I'm not _that_ hot-tempered, or this would have gotten ugly real fast.

My quiet steps halt shortly in front of him. I feel my heart beating fast, my stomach hurting like hell. What was happening to me? And why exactly?

"_Sasuke_? Come on, man. Answer me." I was begging? Yeah, I was begging.

I felt worse than being rejected as he gave me one bored look, closed his book, and took another one. Was he teasing me? Oh fuck no. This is just ridiculous now. And he thinks _I'm_ immature?

I growled. Kyuubi smirked inside me. "What a large mouth you have!" "Better to annoy the fuck out of you, Naruto!" My God. I grab the book and throw it against the wall.

"Stop fucking messing with me! What's up with you!? You won't talk, you never come outside anymore. . .you won't even train! Stop this fucking shit, Sasuke! _Give me the old Sasuke back, damnit!_"

I couldn't believe how mad I got so fast. So much for not being hot-tempered. When I finally came to my senses, I found myself holding him by the collar almost as close to my face as I kiss Sakura.

I felt myself trying to steady my breathing. I was scared he could tell I was nervous. Sasuke being Sasuke would take advantage of that. . .

But this isn't actually Sasuke is it?

I wanted to let go of him, step back, and walk out of the house like nothing ever happened, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. It wasn't just about the wedding, and him being my best man anymore. It was much more fucking personal.

I wasn't ready to let the old Sasuke wither away. I never would be.

"Why are you like this, Sasuke?" I breathed out mournfully. Me cry? That's insane.

"W-What happened to you?"

I would have been happy if he _didn't_ answer. . .

"Everything I said would happen."

I choked. I started uncontrollably sobbing, tightening my grip on his shirt.

"S-Sasuke! It's over! All of that is over now! Forget it! Go b-back to the way you were before! _P-Please!_"

My heart picked up pace again as he leaned in closer to my face. I really hated that tingly feeling in my stomach. It was like acid seeping through my skin. I _hated_ it.

"I'll never be the same little boy I was before. _Get over it_," he whispered with venom to my lips. My crying had stopped, and unfortunately, for a moment there, I thought my heart had stopped too.

One thing you never do is mess with me. Because if you mess with me, that means you're messing with Kyuubi, and that's just suicide.

Sasuke's mouth shut closed like a whip as my eyes turned from blue to purple-ish to pure blood red, my pupils scrunching together into cold little slits.

Sasuke's shirt ripped as my fingernails grew in intensity through it. Woops, sorry 'bout that.

I would have killed Kyuubi for his next move if it didn't mean killing me in the process . . . Actually, that's a pretty good idea. I like it.

My lips, or should I say Kyuubi's lips, jetted forward onto Sasuke's. God fucking damn that demon's heated hormones!

I tried with all my power to gain control over my body again, but instead, the stupid fox goes and pushes Sasuke down on the chair, kissing him madly.

_This is ridiculous!_ This is seriously something you rarely ever see. Hel_lo_!? I'm getting married to the girl I had a crush on since I was like 12, and right now, the demon inside of me who destroyed the village I'm going to be leading soon threw down my best friend who I just got back from a madman fused with a snake in a pursuit of having who knows what kind of sex.

I am SO writing a book before I die. And God, make it be soon.

I finally gain some control over myself and try to tear myself away from Sasuke, Kyuubi fighting me away the whole time. I'm lucky I was trained by a man who was trained by the 4th and a man who trained the 4th and was trained by the 3rd. I finally gained myself back fully, and all my features went back to normal.

. . . But as I tried pulling away . . . he gripped my back tighter . . . What the _fuck_?

"_**He wants you. I can feel it.**_"

"_Of course you can, you stupid fox. You just shoved MY hand down his pants! . . . Wait, no, I mean–!"_

"_**Think what you want, brat. I hate Uchihas, but this one wants you for more than just a buddy with a shoulder to cry on.**_" The fox snickered.

I'm losing it. I'm really, really losing it. I couldn't think as Sasuke was kissing down my . . . oh my god! _I'm shirtless!_ When the fuck did that happen!?

_This can't be happening . . ._

"_**It's happening. Enjoy it.**_"

_No . . . No, no, no. I mean, this CAN'T happen. It's not allowed and I won't let it. No_, I thought defiantly and pushed Sasuke away from me forcefully.

He narrowed his eyes at me. I felt my eyes start to well up again, but quickly pushed them down. When you're dreaming, you can't cry, right? Well, I'm not crying.

I grab my shirt, not bothering to put it on, and ran out of the room, leaving Sasuke to glare at my departing back in the dark.

I quickly and mindlessly shoved on my shirt and sped out of the large house.

. . . I mean, I _would _have sped out of the house, but as I dashed through the livingroom, I saw that second picture I didn't have time to look at in the beginning.

I stared with glossy eyes at a picture of me and Sasuke, the time we came back from learning how to climb trees using chakra to our feet, my arm around his shoulders, him holding me tightly.

I sighed and shook my head as a single tears fell from my eyes. Memories really sucked.

I dragged my feet out the door, closing it lightly behind me.

Did this mean he wouldn't be my best man now?

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_Love,_

**Paramour**


	3. Enlighten Me

**Disclaimer:** Don't own that cutie patutie, Naru-chan, nor his Sasu-love . . . Don't remind me or I might cry.

**EDIT 1/5/08: **Let's see how many I can get done in one day. :P

**Genre: **Romance, Humor, Drama/Angst

**Warning:** Shōnen-ai, Sex, Drugs, Very Bad Language, Mpreg (male pregnancy). In Naruto's and Normal POV. Also in Sasuke's POV later on.

"speaking" / _thinking_ / **(author (meh))** /_**Kyuubi **_("_Naruto talking back to him._")

Bring Me to Life

**III**: LDL

_When he's breaking through to a new level of consciousness,_

_there always seems to be more._

The next day I was particularly broody. The previous events kept repeating in my mind, striking me like a sucker punch every time I remembered Sasuke and I . . . um, our picture. Y-yeah, remembering our picture really made me sad . . . Good fucking grief.

"NAR-"

And you know what's really bad? I'm on a mission today, and my mind is totally thrown off into a very deep, dark river. I think I mentioned this before, that Sasuke refused to join the ANBU. I wish he would. He seriously needs to get out more. He badly needs a tan.

"_-UTO!_"

. . . Did I say that? Damn, I AM out of it today . . . W-Wait, is someone calling my name?

"_NARUTO!!_"

Shit. I glide from my shot behind a tree, throwing a kunai at my team's target. The dark ninja smirks as he easily dodges the knife.

Okay, that really pissed me off. No one acts smug to the captain of the ANBU _and_ the next hokage, not to mention, _definitely_ the best looking ninja in the village hidden in the leaves.

. . . I know what you're thinking, and _no_ I don't think I'm being too cocky! That's all true, and you know it!

I'm gritting my teeth behind my kitsune mask. This is very unlike me, might I add. Over the years, I've _finally_ gotten down not letting my emotions get in the way of my duties. Now, don't get me wrong, everyone knows I just wouldn't be Naruto if my emotions didn't show in some way.

All would think Sasuke would drive me so insane, I would be completely emotionless in the end.

Quite the opposite.

Actually, you can thank him for my wild antics. I seem to be thanking him for a lot of my insanity these days. That man is out to get me, in his own 'I-don't-give-a-shit,-I'm-better-than-you' way, I tell you.

Insane, yes, motherfucker-crazy, no.

You see, if I went full out, it'd be different because you all know, for me, going full out means going all Kyuubi on his ass. Unfortunately, I was just too tired, and chakra-less that day.

But, y'know, I don't have to be the nine-tailed monster to be a monster.

I dashed out at him with fanged fury (aka grinding teeth). I'm not sure why I was so ticked off at such a little smirk. Again, I must blame Sasuke. If you've realized over time, smirks quite well piss me off. His smirk is most definitely embedded into my shriveling brain. Sucks for my targets.

He leans to the side, as if I'm going to fall and tumble like I would when I was still my goofy 12-year-old self.

I fly like a gorilla towards a dark tree, hesitate for a quick second, and easily bound off it, leaving some nail marks on the trunk. This poor man . . . I could very well have gone Kyuubi by now.

After leaving my mark on yet another poor little tree, I tackle him to the floor. His body visibly flinches as I growl behind my wooden mask.

He obviously doesn't know what a fucked up day I had yesterday.

I take out a kunai and use a combination of that and my smirk to threaten his life. If it wasn't against the rules (and something Sakura would really murder me for), I would of taken off my mask just so he could fear my deadly and maniacal smirk.

Shikamaru, my trusty assistant (alright, my partner) came up and took my kunai from behind. He sighed tiredly and lifted me from straddling the quivering man's waste.

He throws me aside, still keeping a tight grip on my wrist, and takes the little scroll from the nin's shirt pocket, leaving him very twitchy and flinchy behind and drags me off toward our village.

_Fun sucker . . ._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We arrive at the village a little later that morning. We're welcomed by Tsunade's zombies–ahem, assistants behind that tiny booth inside the gates.

I wave kindly, Shikamaru and the other nin walking past without even a glance. Those boring losers.

Shikamaru and I stand in front of the hokage's door, waiting for the 'okay' to go in.

She opens the door a few moments later, not bothering to give us a hello or anything and walks back to her desk, plopping down into her big chair with an annoyed sigh.

"Hi to you too, obaachan," I say keenly and skip over to the front of her desk. Why the hell was I so happy anyway?

Tsunade mumbled a "yeah whatever" to my over-obnoxious approach and opened a file, scribbling something I can't read on a piece of paper.

She slams it shut as Shikamaru glides leisurely up to my side.

Sigh. "Naruto, Sakura is waiting for you at the Academy. Go ahead. Shikamaru will give me the report."

If that didn't deflate my entire "the world is beautiful and I love everything" attitude, her next sentence sure did the trick.

"She said that she wanted to ask you if you got Sasuke to be your best man." I could tell she wanted to act smug more than anything but was too tired from her paperwork-ignoring nap. Damn that old hag to hell.

I hate my life . . .

"U-Um, what was that . . . ?"

Another sigh. "Sakura–"

I didn't give her the time to finish as I jet, glumly, out the door towards the school where the only semi-guardian I ever had taught me all the basics of being a ninja (whether I really learned them then or not).

Panting and sweating as I was, standing before her and Iruka and a bunch of kids too young to know what I had inside me, haunting me, and so listened to every word my loyal followers, Konohomaru, Moegi, and Udon told them about me, I breathed.

"Ah! Hello Naruto-kun. How was your mission?"

Yeah! It was great! I went all sadistic and put the guy into a state which he couldn't even tell if my hair was blond, or just being reflected by the sun. Isn't that just peachy? "Fine."

"Good," she gleamed in her normal bubbly, but sophisticated, manner.

I sighed and let my head hang a bit.

"Hello Naruto-san! I'm Renma!" exclaimed a short, curly-black haired boy excitedly. "I heard you might be our next Hokage. Is that true? Oh my God, you must be _so_ great at like everything! My mom said there was something weird about you, but wouldn't tell me what it was. Says I'm too _young. She's_ the weird one. I bet you're like _perfect_."

I caught my breath fully and sighed, smiling weakly. I could feel Sakura and Iruka's sorry, gentle stares on my back as I faced the thrilled kid who really knew absolutely nothing about me.

"Naruto . . ." Iruka sympathized. I turn my weak smile to him and wave it off. You couldn't know how used to it I am by now. I mean, soon the Kyuubi will be a visible part of me; fused together with all the fox-like features showing. I just hope the people will accept me at _all_ like that.

"You wanted to talk to me, Sakura-chan?"

". . . Y-Yes," she frowned and turned to Iruka. "May I take a lunch break, Iruka-sensei?"

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Iruka sighed and put on a small, warm smile. He wanted so bad to believe that after all this time, after all he's done for the village, Naruto had finally gained the acceptance of the villagers. But alas, they're still blinded by what's inside of him instead of actually noticing _him_.

Iruka nods. Sakura smiles widely and spins around, grabbing Naruto's hand and dragging him out of the room.

Iruka sighed tiredly. "Kurama-kun, please close the door."

"Yes, sensei."

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I'm so nervous, I'm shaking. I haven't taken but _one_ bite (ne, sip) of my ramen. How am I supposed to tell her I didn't get Sasuke to be my best man? 'Yeah sorry, I didn't have time to ask him because he was too busy sexually harassing me.' Yes, that'll definitely go over nicely.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan . . . I . . . I . . . got sidetracked . . ."

Kyuubi cackles lightly inside my head. **"**_**Sidetracked . . ."**_

I scoff at him, making sure not to change the plainly fake "please forgive me, darling" expression on my face.

"Sidetracked? Doing what? He doesn't exactly go into detail in a conversation, or talk at all for that matter, Naruto-kun," she giggled, returning to her soup. I'm glad at least _she_ thinks Sasuke's actions are funny.

"Um . . . um . . . um, um, um . . ." I started panicking. I wasn't really sure what to say. What excuse is good enough to tell your fiancé that you didn't get the best man for your wedding that's in only _two weeks!?_

"Naruto, are you okay? . . . Did something happen at Sasuke's?"

I gulped deeply. I was never good at keeping secrets!

. . . Wait a damn minute! What secret do I have to keep? Sasuke was the one who attacked me, right? Yeah, it takes two to tango, but I wasn't the one dancing. Kyuubi was. Not that that's very easy to believe.

"Sasuke–"

. . . Sigh. I just couldn't say it. I didn't have the guts to blame it on Sasuke. I don't think I'd have the guts to blame anything on him, ever.

_Just lie or something_, I told myself and seethed in through my teeth.

"Uh, Sasuke had some pictures on his fireplace and I got pretty into them. Some from yours, mine, and his childhood. Kinda sad, so I left early," I said with false dejection. It wasn't completely a lie. Merely a variation of the truth.

"Aw, my poor 'Ruto-kun," the bubble-gum haired medic-nin smoothed the hair on the side of my head and leaned in for a kiss. I smiled on the outside, but for some reason, I wasn't exceedingly smiling on the inside.

"Naruto."

I blinked and rotated my head to the side, Sakura's hand still in its place beside me. _I know that voice . . ._ "S-Sasuke! Uh, um, h-hey, w-what'cha doin' here? You don't really c-come out of your house o-often. . ." _So why the fuck now!?_

"We need to talk."

I started to panic again. This was just too much for little fox-boy me. I can't take all this pressure! Any more stress, and I'm going to have to be diagnosed for panic attacks.

"A-About what? W-W-What could w-we possibly have to t-talk about!? We have nothing t-to talk about!" I started breathing heavily. I'm having a panic attack . . . Good lord, I'm having a panic attack.

He stood there motionless. Sakura was trying to help me calm my breathing before I started crying. My eyes stayed on him.

He . . . still stood there motionless. I think I even would have preferred a smirk! He just doesn't care. Like, at all. Sunuvabitch.

Then he reaches out and grabs my sleeve. My eyes widen marginally. He drags me away from my fiancé, towards the forest.

No! It's dark in there! Rape, rape!!

. . . Okay, now I'm being ridiculous. I can't help it! _I'm fucking scared!_

. . . You know, he didn't even call me dobe. I miss that . . . I don't even call him teme! Now I'm really going to start crying. No possible way can I be hokage if I'm this fucking emotional.

Sasuke threw me down to the floor with the swipe of his wrist. I eeped as I fell back and my head hit the hard ground with a 'thud.'

"Ugh . . ." I grunted and tried to reside the throbbing pain. _This is embarrassing. The next hokage, ANBU captain, and the best looking ninja in the village hidden in the leaves is being dragged around, beat up, and picked on by my best friend, __**and**__ a complete bum._ _Sincerely_ _unfair._

"Why'd you have to throw me so hard," I grumbled and continued to rub the back of my head, soothingly. I was up in a sitting position, my free hand resting in my lap.

"We need to talk about yesterday," he said and stood laid-back against a tree. He closed his eyes, irritated as I was afraid.

I blinked as my head started to break from the pain. A fox-like sniff went to my nose as I acted like I had amnesia. "About what?" I asked, feigning pure, satisfied innocence.

He growled from deep within his throat. He apparently wasn't seeing this as I was. It was an accident. I'm trying not to blame him for almost raping me.

"Yes, we do. Why did you attack me yesterday?" He cleared his throat, "Then act like you had no idea what was going on."

I gaped. He was kidding. He _must_ be kidding. And the joke is _so _not funny. Not at all.

"_What!_? _Me_!? _I didn't attack you! You attacked _me_!!"_ This is a completely absurd. I demand a fucking lawyer. "How dare you blame it on me! You're the one the grabbed my back remember!?"

He sighed, calming himself. Make that two of us. "No, Naruto. _You_ pushed_ me_ into the chair."

My gaping mouth sagged a bit. I started to breathe awkwardly again. That was true, wasn't it? Fucking hell.

"But, but, but . . . T-That wasn't me! It was Kyuubi! A-And plus, you held me down! Rape!"

His eyes opened, a deep evil glare positioned on me.

"I didn't rape you, ignoramus. You pulled back and left. It's not like I held you against your will."

Startled with the comeback (and a good one at that), I hesitated. I was then interrupted before I had the chance to foolishly retort.

"Yo!"

Oh joy. At least this means we don't have to continue this conversation. "Hey Kakashi-sensei." My eyes remained on Sasuke, watching as he once again closes himself off from the world.

Sasuke says nothing and pushes himself off of the tree. He quietly excuses himself from the area.

God fuck, I still need to ask him to be my fucking best man. Stupid–! "See you later, Kakashi-sensei," I said, lifting myself off the floor and ran off after him.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Kakashi blinked. Well that was a nice reunion. He smiled beautifully.

_Finally it starts_, thought the famous copy-nin, and was off in a puff of smoke.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Love,_

**Paramour**


	4. Save Me

**Disclaimer:** Nope, nope, don't own, don't own. Boo hoo, boo hoo.

**EDIT 2/23/08: **This was the only one I hadn't fixed! I didn't even know. Ha…haha. Yeah.

**Genre:** Romance, Drama, Humor

**Warning:** Shōnen-ai , Sex, Very Bad Language, Mpreg (male pregnancy). In Naruto's and Normal POV. Also in Sasuke's POV later on.

"speaking" / _thinking_ / (1) - author note (at bottom) / _**Kyuubi **_(_"Naruto talking back to him."_)

Bring Me to Life

**IV**: Sweet Escape

_You better open the door before I take a hammer to the walls around it._

I ran after Sasuke, giving a huff of exasperation every now and then. Keeping up with this boy was tiring, and I don't just mean running after him.

When I looked almost everywhere in the forest, I came to the conclusion that he went back to his house. I sighed at how fast he gave me the slip. It was embarrassing. I can't even keep up with Sasuke. Forget the whole fucking village.

I wasn't even sure enough if I wanted to follow him at all.

I started toward his large mansion.

_**"Are you sure you want to go back there?"**_

"Of course! I mean . . . I have to get him to be my best man, right? So yeah, I am . . ."

The demon tittered.

". . . Well, it's not that hard to understand, is it?"

I slowed my walking until I came to a complete stop. Kyuubi was making me nervous. More nervous then I already was.

_**"**__**Do what you want, kid**__**."**_

I raised an eyebrow as though I was looking at him in front of me right now. Someone's being a bit touchy. He didn't respond to my action so I let it go.

I decided to not go back.

----

Sakura is probably looking for me now, worried as hell. Sasuke dragging me off into a dark forest to talk after such a long silence between us doesn't look good from an outsider's view. (Not that it's much better from the inside.) For all she knows, I could be dead right now . . . Well, she probably thought one of us were dead, maybe both. That'd be too easy.

I sped up towards the hokage's tower. I figured she was ready to bash my head in. Why do people get mad when they're worried? And why am _I _always the one to get beat on?

Because I ask for it. _(I'm asking for it.)_

I arrived on the ledge of the hokage's window, usually claimed by a certain perverted sannin that dropped in at completely random times to scare the fuck out of Tsunade. "Obaachan?"

Tsunade spun around, looking as if I'd just given her a heart attack. I might've. "Naruto? What the fuck are you doing there? Since when do you come through my window? And weren't you with Sakura?"

I sighed. Fuck can she can talk a lot when it'_s _really not wanted. "Yes, I was with Sakura. I came to your window because I'm in a rush. I'm here because I now can't _find _Sakura, so I thought I'd ask you if you've seen her . . . And yeah! I'm great! Thanks for asking! But enough about me, how was _your _day so far?"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. Alright, so maybe I was a bit harsh. But I wasn't having the best day.

"Don't be fresh with me, you brat. I'll kick your ass. Now, why are you looking for Sakura if you were just with her? Did you run off when she started talking about kids or something?"

I half-laughed, half-sighed. If she did start talking about that this soon, I would run away to Suna and become a martyr. We still don't know if this marriage is even going to work, never mind children.

But I'm not having doubts.

. . . Does it seem like I'm having doubts?

Hm, I wonder if she'll even still like me after I merge with Kyuubi. That'll probably be really hard on her, being married to a monster. I won't even be me anymore. Half of me will be him. I won't be normal, even though I never really was. Will she accept that?

Am I more of a monster for slightly hoping for the opposition?

"Naruto!"

"Huh?"

She frowned. "You zoned out on me. What's wrong with you?"

I laughed and rubbed the tingling, sticking-up hairs at the back of my neck. "Sorry, I was just thinking of some stuff. I'm fine."

Tsunade stared at me skeptically. I still have the patience of a five year old, so I do not want to hear her blabber on about marriage, being too young, the village already accepting me, Kyuubi, _blahblahblah . . _I had already zoned out on my own thoughts.

". . . But, um, the reason I'm not with her is because I went off to talk with Sasuke." I shut myself up faster then I could take a breath. I sounded too chummy about it. I was supposed to hate it, like she did. She knew he was to be (or perhaps, as of now, not) my best man. Albeit, she still held the grudge resentfully. I wish she would get over hating him so much. I'm a big boy now. I can pick my own fucking friends . . . Not that he really is my friend . . . What _is_ he anyway?

A betraying smile. "You were what now? I don't think I heard you right."

Okay, but she is pretty scary . . . And scary plus motherly instincts equals either a very dead me, or never seeing the Uchiha clan prosper ever again . . . The thought made me nauseous. And I'm not saying what thought. That belongs to the closed door at the back of my mind (with the rest of the marital doubts).

I was silent, stuck in my own defiant self-scorn. I had never kept to myself so much in my life. That had started when Sasuke returned.

_Self-preservation_ I call it.

I finally decided to speak up. "Sasuke and I were just talking about the wedding. That's all . . . Well, if you haven't seen Sakura, I'll just be going." Did I look as guilty as I felt?

I jumped down from the window in a flash, ignoring her yells for me to return to her office or she'd kill my upcoming offspring . . . Seriously, enough talk about babies already.

I remained in place. I felt I couldn't move my legs.

I don't what it is. I couldn't tell you. That feeling . . . The feeling bubbling up in my stomach like acid. Like before. I don't know what it is. But it keeps coming back when I think of him . . . Think of what to do when I see him again. I don't think I want to find out. Because maybe I sort of do know and the door at the back of my mind just won't stay closed.

Somebody help me.

---

I arrive at Ichiraku's a moment later to get a quick bite to eat. Something to swallow the acid. I entered the bar and said hello to the old man. At least I could muster up something resembling a real smile for him.

(I had thought maybe I couldn't smile anymore. All my smiles are fake since he came back.)

_(Somebody help me.)_

He greets me back jovially and hands me a small piece of paper. It's a note.

_Dear Naruto,_

_Where the hell have you been? Did you talk to Sasuke about being your best man while you were o__ut there doing who-knows-what?__ You better tell me w__hat happened! I was so worried!_

_I'm at the hot springs. Meet me there as soon as you get this._

_Love you,_

_Sakura_

I laugh softly at how she always dots her _i_'s with little hearts. I never thought I'd fall for someone so girly.

The note crumples in my fist. _Thump, thump. _I couldn't tell my heart to stop. I wish I could. Forever.

I definitely wasn't hungry anymore. The acid would stay there. I couldn't predict how long. Maybe forever.

_(Or until you do something about it.)_

_W__hat are you thinking, Naruto?_

I don't know. I just can't keep the door closed anymore. It's falling open and letting everything out.

_What are you going to do, Naruto?_

---

I'm at the hot springs, looking around for Sakura.

I sense her freakishly strong chakra inside the bath house. She knows I can't go in the girl's bathroom. Christ, I hate women. I sigh and sit down against the wall. The pounding in my head was growing.

I hear someone giggling madly. It was really annoying after taking it for a while. This person needs to shut up.

I was obtaining a major Sasuke-complex. I was even grunting to myself now. I need a savor.

I get up and go look for the annoyance.

When I start getting close to the sound, I can pretty much identify that it's a manly voice.

I peek around the bath house's corner to see that bloke of a perverted sannin spying on the women through a crack in the door. What a moron.

"Jiraiya! Stop peeping in at women less than half your age, you old fuck!"

I snicker when all the woman scream in terror at my yell, piling out of the bath one after another, trampling the idiot to the ground. "Serves you right, ero-sennin." When had I began to enjoy misery so much? Of course I did know the answer.

"Naruto, I'll kill you, you damn brat," mumbled a flattened Jiraiya.

"Sure, old man," I waved him off.

Jiraiya growled in irritation, lifting his aged bones off the ground. He stretched out all the creaks in his back and sighed, looking me up and down. "So what're you doin' here, kid? Didn't think you liked bath houses . . . Takin' peeks before you become a trapped man?"

My mouth twisted disdainfully. "No, you perv'!" Then I stuttered a, "T-Trapped? What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked bored. "Being," he yawned, "married. You'll be trapped to look at only your woman's body for the rest of your life, or she'll murder you."

The corners of my mouth twitched. I had no desire to talk about this with him. I was dealing with the shitload of trouble in my head just fine by myself. "I never said I wanted to look at any other woman's body but Sakura's. God you're such a fuckin' pervert." I wasn't being defensive.

He yawned again and turned from me. "Wasn't talking about another woman's body." It was said indifferently. Matter-of-factly. As if it didn't just spear my heart. And my lungs. And my stomach . . . My skin was getting paler. Losing blood. And yet the acid wouldn't drain.

Stretching himself out again, he said in a gruff voice, "Well, I better get going. Places to be, women to do, research to gather, you know."

I had no words. I had no voice. My lungs were empty of oxygen. I just stood.

"Later, kid. Don't get yourself killed by that monster you call your 'bride-to-be'." He laughed and took off.

I had lost touch of the ground below me. I was thinking afterwards that I should've said something about that insult to my fiancé but I hadn't heard it in time. I couldn't hear anything but the ringing in my ears and—

_"__wasn't talking about another woman'__s body"_

—I just couldn't breathe anymore.

Everything's falling out. I had lost control.

He had disappeared over a hill behind the springs. Every part of me was numb. I felt as if I was watching someone else's life. Like that wasn't me standing there. It was just someone else's life falling to pieces. If only it was that easy to escape.

I returned to my body and time warped back as someone behind me spoke softly. I was sick of soft. I needed someone to beat me back into reality. Or rather, beat me out of it.

"Naruto? What's wrong?"

Slowly I pivoted round to her. My bright eyes were glassed over. They might have seeped into gray by this point. She was standing there in a white, fluffy towel, clothes in hand. I didn't even see her. She was just _there. _She tilted her head at me, her face contorted into concern. I don't need concern. I needed a savor.

"Hi, Sakura." The fake smile had become my trademark. I didn't even know what a cheery grin looked like anymore. I couldn't remember who I was before.

She thought it was real. She smiled back.

I walked over to her and offered her my arm. She gladly took it.

----

I took Sakura home. She had changed before we left the baths.

She wanted to know what had happened between Sasuke and me. I lied naturally.

_"You can expect him standing beside me on that alter!"_

Those words scared me.

_Thump__ thump._

I kissed her goodbye with cold lips. Every part of me was numb. Still. Forever maybe.

That scared me too. Maybe her lips would never warm mine again. I was treading in ice cold water. But I won't drown. There has to be a way out. There just has to be.

Kyuubi cackled deridingly.

Why do I feel like I'm already down at the bottom?

---

I walked down the street absent-mindedly, looking with faraway eyes at my future village. This was getting harder and harder for me.

I then came about Ino's flower shop. I entered it.

_Ding._

"Hello! Welcome to the Yamanaka flower shop!" Ino greeted and turned away from a bouquet she was working on.

She gasped happily as she saw me come in. "Naruto!" she called and ran over to give me a hug, her blond ponytail flaying from side to side behind her.

"What are you doing here? Getting flowers for Sakura-chan I presume?" She gave me a knowing look. I almost laughed at it.

She unattached herself and went back to her post, her eyes not leaving mine once.

"Haha, nah. I was just . . . around. Thought I'd drop in," I said and took in the wonderful scent of all the flowers. I love coming here, most of the time to pick up flowers for Sakura, sometimes just to visit and relax with Ino. And since she was dating Shikamaru, I happened to be around her more and more each day. She's Sakura's maid-of-honor.

Ino motioned for me to meet her at the cash-register. I nodded and went over.

"Look," she instructed, showing me a huge bouquet with pretty pink roses and white carnations, not yet fully decorated, "This is going to be Sakura's bouquet for the wedding. Think she'll like it? I thought she'd love the roses, since she has such expensive taste, and the pink would really make her skin glow. Carnations are her favorite flower, so I thought that would be nice to put. I'm not done yet, but I promise it will look _gorgeous_." Her smile was beautiful. Women had beautiful smiles.

. . . Nothing. The acid burned hotter, deeper.

I laughed, "I know it will. She'll be really grateful. Flowers are your specialty." And acting was mine.

Ino smiled kindly, more to herself than to me it seemed. Her eyes distanced from the shop as she relived her past. I was too unfortunately. "Yeah. If you've noticed, being over Sasuke really helped our friendship. I love Sakura dearly."

Oh Christ. Is anyone seeing the irony? It's suffocating me.

I smiled for her. I didn't know what else to do. Their lives were getting better for moving on from him. Mine was collapsing in on me.

I still needed to go see him. It wasn't good—thinking about him. Seeing him again. Not right now. Not ever. My stomach was sinking me.

Ino finally noticed my dulled, paled face. I was a shadow of what I should've been. She probably thought I was worried about the wedding. I wasn't. I just wanted it all to be over. I wanted everything to be over with. It was a lot that I even admitted that. "Are you okay, Naruto?"

I looked into her clueless eyes. _Just make something up and leave_. "I'm just scared she won't accept me when I . . . you know. Change." Can I walk away yet?

She frowned. "Of course she would accept you. She loves you very much Naruto. I think she loves you more than she even loved Sasuke back then. Trust me," she smiled. Yeah, I should definitely trust you. I smiled back. I was ready to leave. Now.

"Plus," she continued (why did she have to continue?), "By some strange and unlikely chance she doesn't, you know I will. Always." She smiled a bit wider. I could feel the warmth in it. I didn't like it. I almost missed the cold already.

I could feel her breathing on my face.

My gaze traveled down her face, landing on her lips.

You don't want to know what _(you mean who?)_ I was seeing as I looked at those lips.

But it didn't matter who I was seeing, because in my permanently damaged, twisted mind, I found a way out. I hadn't realized the severity of my choice until much, much later in my life. Maybe it was for the best. I couldn't' tell you, honestly. I just don't know.

Her lips met mine. This was pure sin. But it was my way out, and I was taking it. My hand went to the back of her head, pulling her in closer to me.

I heard a bell ring somewhere. I stopped myself from smiling into the kiss. My luck was fantastic. My way out. It was coming so easily to me.

"N-Naruto! _Ino_"

I pulled back. My act was immediate. I don't know when I started loving the pain of others, but I was loving this. I was going to get out, and I didn't care who was hurt in the process.

I put horror onto my face and spun around. ". . . Kiba."

The smile behind my lips was so malicious. So real.

----

-Grins- See how I spiked the story? It's like spiking the punch. And Naruto's had a bit too much. But it's time to party drunk people!

I'm having a blast with this story suddenly.

_Love,_

**Paramour**


	5. Break Me

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto and anything related to him in his series. I am pathetic. And have no life. That's why I write these damn things. (And because SasuNaru keeps me breathing.)

**EDIT 2/24/08: **I'm doing this one too! But not as much as the last. Need to spike Naruto. :P And then I'll write the next chapter. (. . . Don't hurt me.)

**Genre:** Romance, Drama, Humor

**Warning:** Shōnen-ai, Sex, Drugs, Very Bad Language, Mpreg (male pregnancy). In Naruto's , Normal , and Sasuke's POV.

"speaking" / _thinking_ / (1) - author note (at bottom) /_**Kyuubi **_(_"Naruto talking back to him."_)

Bring Me to Life

**V**: You Wouldn't Last a Minute

_This is probably the best, not to mention the worst idea I have ever had._

Kiba looked like he was about to cry. I was excited to see it.

I quickly pushed Ino away from me, stood up, and then faced Kiba with the guiltiest expression on my face I could muster. How convincing did I look? Very convincing. Did you know that foxes don't eat their prey right away? Sometimes a fox will hold down his prey until it stops moving. Then he'll rest and let the mouse scurry off so he can continue the chase. It's all about the fun of making the prey fear for its life. Catching it and releasing it again. So the fear will come back, over and over and over, more than the last time.

I'll be a monster if it means escaping from this.

"Kiba, I didn't–"

"No! Oh hell no! How could you Naruto!? Your best friend's girlfriend! I'd understand if you wanted to get some pussy before you had to marry," my glass face almost cracked, "b-but . . . but _Ino?_ That's just . . . just . . . I can't even find words for how wrong this is!"

"Kiba, listen to me–!" I tried, sounding mournful. This was the exact reaction that I had hoped for, but I admit, it was kind of hard to take the disappointed look I'm getting from Kiba. Kiba was a good friend, and so were a lot of the people I'd be hurting doing this. But there was no turning back, and I needed out. I had to get out.

"No! Why should I? You betrayed Shikamaru _and_ Sakura! . . . This just can't be happening." He laughed bitterly.

"Kiba, if you would just hear me out! Please!" I yelled, my voice cracking. I didn't know I could act this good. It might seem like I was going to cry, like I was so horribly upset, but truthfully, I was loving it. Every minute of it. They deserve to be miserable too, right?

Kiba glared heatedly at me, but nodded.

I sighed and began the sappiest alibi I could think up, "Kiba, it was an accident. I–"

"Like hell it was!"

"Kiba, let him finish!" Ino yelled over my shoulder a few feet away. A laugh almost escaped my lips. I had her fooled too.

Kiba turned to her, growling deep in his throat. The only thing worse than a dog's bark is its bite and Kiba would not hold back. I wanted to see him break. I wanted to see them all break. "Shut up, Ino! Just wait till I tell Shikamaru about this!"

I couldn't help it. I smirked. I was shaking from the excitement. It was all working out perfectly.

_(What have you done to me, Sasuke?)_

My marriage would be ruined after this. My voice cracked convincingly once more, "Kiba, please. Don't tell anyone. I want to marry Sakura so badly. You know how long I've loved her. My dream finally came true, all of my dreams. Please don't ruin this for me . . ." He would be so proud of me. Manipulation is his favourite pastime. I wasn't that little kid anymore, was I, Sasuke?

Kiba visibly quieted down. I wonder briefly if I made some kind of dent in his stubborn head.

Good thing he's a dog. Loyalty is everything to him. He'd never forgive me for this. ". . . I suppose you've been through enough in your life. One . . ." he spat the next word with venom, ". . . _mistake_ . . . should be okay for you . . ."

I could feel Kyuubi stirring in my stomach. I think he was having fun. He loves destruction. Mass destruction.

". . . But it's not . . ."

I smiled.

It left my face quicker than he could catch it. I put on a look where I was about to break down in tears. "Kiba, no . . ."

"I'm sorry Naruto. I can't let this slide. I'm going to tell Sakura. If you can't even resist Ino, how can you expect to be faithful to Sakura later on?"

He needed to stop talking about that.

Ino cut in, "Hey! I'll let you know I am very irresistible to all men!"

Kiba rolled his eyes then averted them over my shoulder to the pale blonde again. "Shut up, Ino! You're just as much at fault as he is!"

She went back to being silent.

". . . Naruto I think you should start calling off all the wedding plans. I don't think Sakura is going to like this very much . . . Bye guys." With that said, Kiba walked out the door, the tiny bell signaling his exit.

The feeling in my gut was pure, cruel wickedness. I was finally out.

. . . Wasn't I?

* * *

The rest of that day, in so little words, sucked ass. I left the flower shop without a look or a word to Ino, my exit strut appearing calm. But appearances are only appearances. I wanted to jump for joy. I thought it was all over.

But then, sitting at home on my bed, thinking of nothing more than how in less than a few hours I would no longer be engaged, the world came tumbling back to me. I couldn't escape reality. Sasuke had, whether he was aware of it or not, singlehandedly destroyed my life. I was single, without friends, and seriously mentally disabled. I just wanted it all to be right. I wanted to be happy again. He had taken it from me. All my happiness. I thought that was how to get it back, but I just ruined myself more. And afterwards, I was lost. Just lost. That door had opened and there was no locking it back up. But I was afraid to go near it. Of course, there was that little part of me that really wanted to.

I really didn't want to go tell her. Kiba picked the best possible punishment for me. For any man. To tell their fiancés or wives they've cheated. To do it themselves. Plus, she could kill me. Would kill me. I wanted to bury myself under the ground and never have to breathe again. I didn't want to have to face any of the people on the surface.

I didn't end up telling her. I didn't see her at all that day. Instead, I did the last thing anyone would ever suspect of me. I went to Sasuke's. You couldn't imagine what pressure like this could make a man do or say. And fuck, not one thing was kept in my mouth that afternoon visit.

* * *

"Sasuke! Sasuke, you bastard, open the fucking door!" I banged frantically upon the wooden barrier. With both hands. I wish I had a friend I could cry to that wouldn't just look at me like he didn't give a fuck and this was wasting his time . . . but I think I've just lost every one of the possibilities for that situation. But you know the weird thing? I didn't even think about how they wouldn't look me in the eye because of what I've done. My mind trailed straight upon Sasuke. I was kind of excited about seeing him again. Yeah, the acid was still there, but I couldn't feel it anymore. I was too numb to feel anything.

After 15 minutes or so, the door finally opened up to my tear stained, glassed-over face. I had no idea how to use facial expressions anymore. I was blank.

He looked pissed. Good, at least that's something other than "you're not worth my time so leave or I'll kill you dead here on the porch". Not that I care if he lives or dies anymore. I just wanted a reaction. I wanted to make him feel. He needed to feel because . . . I no longer could.

We stared at each other. Neither of us moved, just decided to stare. Me: just to wait to go in . . . because he will let me in sooner or later; him: I'm not quite sure. He appeared to be looking straight into my own eyes, like he was searching for something. What the hell was he expecting to find? He was the only one who could feel now.

He moved to the side, keeping silent. He chose to look across to the other side of the house. Now he was avoiding looking at me. I've honestly never met someone I have so much trouble figuring out. And of course he has to ruin me and take my sanity and break apart my entire life in the process . . . And I'd still find out nothing about him.

I looked to him then entered the Uchiha domain. Why does he even still live here? It's like living in a cage with every mistake you ever made watching you over your shoulder. It's not a home. It's a house. But I guess I can relate to that. It's harder to let go of the past then we like to admit.

I stood there helplessly in his foyer. I couldn't even pretend to feel anymore. I was a corpse.

I expected the traumatized soul behind me to simply walk past and forget I was even here, but apparently my assumptions were wrong.

I felt his looming presence shadow my back. "Do you need anything?"

I didn't know how to answer correctly. What should I have said? _"I need to see you fall to pieces and whimper and dread ever destroying my life!"_ That was the truth. I wanted to see him suffer. I wanted him to be in pain so I could smile at it for a while then put the pieces back together for him. I wanted him to need me to save his life. Just like when I dragged him back into this cycle of misery. That's what it was. A continuous circle of misery. Because if you didn't play the perfect hero at every chance, you were the enemy. You had to be erased from the world if you weren't perfect.

He was still standing behind me, unmoving. Yesterday morning kept replaying in my head. It was the only way I could possibly remember how to feel. The feeling of his lips on mine. The feeling of his lips on my neck. The feel of his hair in my hands.

This was getting a little out of hand. He wasn't supposed to make me feel. I was supposed to make him feel.

He made his way around my quivering body. He continued to walk on. My mind told me to leave, but I followed. I felt Kyuubi stir inside me. I don't know what I was doing there. Again I felt like I was watching someone else live my life. I was somewhere else, laughing at every move I made. Because every move I made seemed like a mistake.

I usually decide to talk a lot in these situations, because I didn't know how to deal with awkwardness. But obviously I couldn't. My feet just trailed behind and my eyes traveled all around his back. I stayed dead mute.

We were suddenly at the same room I happened to come across the previous day. Why am I not running yet?

I stopped short, my chin nearly over his shoulder. I could smell the soap he used on his body. He had a natural scent too. I couldn't pinpoint it. It smelt really good. Yesterday flashed before my eyes again.

He opened the door. His body slowly met the bed and sat down. I watched as his eyes made a beeline to the spot next to him and back to me.

No, I'm still not running.

In fact, I did the exact opposite. I did just as I was told. I sat calmly next to him. He looked really tense; watching the wall opposite us. I was staring up at him. I couldn't explain why I was so comfortable sitting there with him.

And then it all came out.

The foreign sound of my voice filled the desolate room. "Why did you even let me in? Didn't you hear what happened? I'm a fucking whore! First . . . you, then kissing Ino . . . It wasn't really a mistake though. Kissing Ino I mean . . . Don't hate me for this, okay? I kind of wanted Kiba to find us kissing. Well, not particularly Kiba. Maybe Sakura would have been better. Then everyone wouldn't have to find out. She would hate me secretly . . . But I got the reaction I wanted. I just wanted . . . out. I couldn't marry her. It wouldn't have worked anyway. I'm just . . . not meant to be happy. I'm meant to be trying to get you to have a life for the rest of mine." I was staring at the wall too now, panting slightly. There were a lot of hand movements. A little color returned to my face too I think. He was helping me feel again. I didn't understand. It was supposed to be the other way around.

Again I felt the phantom touch of his lips against mine from the day before.

I didn't want to open the door to him. But again there was that quiet part of me that kind of wanted him to find a way in anyway.

I took a deep breath and finally took a look at Sasuke's face. To my astonishment, he looked baffled. Ultimately baffled. I blinked a few times to make sure he hadn't knocked me out and I wasn't in a coma-induced dream. No, I was not yet forced into a comatose state. He had tilted his head slightly. He looked like a confused puppy. Where's the indifferent bastard I've grown to hate and . . . what's that other one again?

"Sasuke? . . . You–y-you seemed confused . . ."

His face twitched. I again expected him to return to normal procedure, but no. I returned his confused expression. I know he didn't know about being best man since I never got around to asking him (I always seemed to be in an unlucky situation at the time), but . . . why would he look so confused over that? He looked positively lost. Something I don't have the pleasure of seeing much . . . or ever.

He scowled. Oh there he is! "Of course I'm confused. I have not one clue as to what you're blabbing on about. Can you try making sense?"

I flinched. He was making me nervous now. And it didn't help that he towered over me so exceedingly. I was a late bloomer when it came to height. "Well I know you don't know that you would have been my best man, because I was going to tell you yesterday morning, then, you know, stuff happened, and it totally left my mind . . ." I was feeling a little lightheaded. He was the only one who could do this to me. I wanted to see _him_ suffer, fucking damnit! I was like an ant under a microscope here. Where the fuck does he get off doing this to me?

_How can he have such an effect on me?_

I wouldn't dare, or rather couldn't, look him in the eye. I scratched at my blond-haired arm. It would be a bloody stub after we're done with this conversation.

But then the blood didn't matter, really.

"What wedding?"

* * *

**Sasuke**

I stared, motionless, at him. "What wedding?"

I continued to repeat to myself in my head. _I am a shinobi. I will not wear my heart on a sleeve. I will not wear my heart on a sleeve._

But, in fact, it wanted out of my chest, bad. It thumped feverously against my ribcage. I felt a pain inside me that I hadn't felt in a long time. Sadness. Pure, cruel sadness. I don't waste my breath being sad. I take action. What action was in order now?

Naruto just winced and flinched and twitched like he was having a fatal seizure. What the fuck is wrong with him? Why is he acting like I should already know about this?

"Sasuke . . . Don't play around . . . It's really not funny," he said slowly, as if I was an invalid and had brain damage. _He_ had brain damage! Acting like I should already know this crap.

_What's going on? I don't understand!_

I grew angry. My fists clenched and unclenched at my sides. "I'm not playing around, you idiot! What's going on?" Why was I acting so crazy? No one is allowed to have this effect on me! _He_ isn't allowed!

My heart throbbed terribly. He rubbed his visibly sore arm and tilted his head. "Sasuke, what's wrong with you? Our wedding . . . me and Sakura's wedding? Don't you remember?"

My heart finally exploded into bits and pieces like rain all over my red-hot organs. Finally. I can finally not care anymore. He's getting married. It's perfect! It's so unbelievably perfect! He'll marry . . . what-what was her name again? . . . And I'll be free of him forever!

For the first time since I was ten I felt like weeping. But I couldn't convince myself it was for joy.

I went cold. My arms went limp and I felt my body completely shut down. "No. I don't remember."

I made a move to get up. Originally to leave the room . . . actually, to leave this fucking house and village and life and never come back. But the look on his face. It just held me like a net. That's it. I felt like captured trout in a soaking wet fishing net. I was nothing more than lion's food now. How remarkably pathetic I've become.

I sat and watched as Naruto swallowed thick saliva and returned to his arm-scratching habit. It annoyed me. I narrowed my eyes and grabbed his wrist. "Stop."

"Sorry," he gulped again and averted his bright eyes to his fidgeting feet. My God, what a nervous wreck.

I caught myself wanting to stop his fidgeting by making sure his whole body was held down. I shivered and quickly released his wrist. I inched back from him.

Naruto gazed back up at me then. "What's wrong?"

Hypocrite. "Nothing," I said hurriedly and stood. I looked back at him over my shoulder, my eyes and face a straight line. "I'll get you something to drink."

Naruto flinched again, but made to follow me. I turned to stop him. "Just stay here. Rest if you have to. Try not to fall asleep. You need to drink. Are you hungry?" I was acting frantic, clenching my hands at my sides. Am I a hypocrite? I scowl . . . Fuck it. He was _not _getting married.

Naruto blinked up at me. "Um, yeah okay, sure, that sounds nice. Thank you." I glared suddenly. What the fuck was with the formalities? Thank you? _That sounds nice? _Naruto has never thanked me for anything. He rather drown himself than thank me. This was complete crap.

When he didn't move I pushed him gently to sit on the bed. Apparently that made him nervous. I rolled my eyes and left the room, treading at a fast pace into the kitchen. I'm not actually sure what my problem is right now. I've gone from indifferent to sad to angry to numb to hectic. But something had to be done. It was time to take action.

I swirled the two pills around in my hand. Different thoughts traveled rapidly through my mind. I'm being stupid, I'm doing this on impulse, I haven't a clue as to what I'm about to do. But it all trails back to one thing. Naruto was not fucking getting married. This was the only way.

I glared down at my hand as I crushed the white tablets and poured the contents of ash into the drink. I stirred again. This better fucking work.

* * *

I returned to the room approximately ten minutes later with a bowl of ramen and his drink. _More like toxicity_, a stray thought traveled at the back of my mind. I'm not even sure why I subjected myself to making his favourite dish. _Maybe the fact that you're__ a__bout to poison __him_, that stray thought spoke again. I slaughtered it. I was not poisoning him. Precisely the opposite. 

His back was to me as he faced the other side of the room on my bed, his legs curled up into each other and his thin, blond haired arms hugging my pillow to the side of his golden head. My pillow. The pillow I drool on and twist and turn in bed with. I almost dropped the ramen.

"I'm not asleep," he startled me. More than I'd already been startled anyway.

"Glad you finally learned to listen," I said simply. Why make a scene? Might as well act as he thought I should. Might make this easier for him _(for me)._

I quietly place the tray of food and drink on the side table. I stand up straight and wait. I'm not really sure what I was supposed to be waiting for. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to watch him not sleep. Because even if he isn't sleeping, he always looks so _together_ like this.

His face and body remained facing the window. Maybe he was looking outside. It had gotten dark quicker than I imagined it would. I'm not actually sure what that means. Nothing special.

My fingers twitched a bit. I folded them into a fist and clutched tight. I felt like my blood was being drained from my body. "Aren't you going to eat?" I asked. I didn't actually care if he ate. I only wanted him to drink.

I heard him chuckle a little. It sounded almost as if he giggled. I followed his movements closely as he raised his light body and sat at the edge. His body seemed stiff. I wasn't actually sure at all what kind of day he had. He made it sound bad. But right now he was smiling. He was smiling up at me. I clutched tighter and blinked.

I asked in the most normal-Sasuke (irritated but uncaring) voice I could, "What?" As if I wasn't nervous at all. Like he was still just a stupid little idiot. _(He wasn't. He definitely wasn't little or stupid or an idiot anymore.)_ Like he wasn't actually getting married.

Because, really, he's not. Whether he makes up with what's-her-face or not.

Naruto smiled wider, his white, pearly teeth beginning to show. He shook his head and his teeth disappeared. The giggle came back as he reached for his tray of ramen and . . . whatever the other thing had become after I concocted it.

"What?" I demanded. Now I really was irritated.

"Nothing!" he squeaked. He scooped the watery contents into his mouth. A lot of it went in. A lot of . . . I shook my head. Fucking shit I wish I was dead.

"So Sasuke," he began in a friendly manner of tone, like everything was just how it was years and years ago. "Vhat do you fink I sood do?"

I translated the slur in my head. "About what?" I knew what.

He glanced up at me and rolled his eyes, then resumed his devouring. "You mo wmut," a large gulp. My eyes bored down on him expectantly. He refused to look me in the face. "With Sakura. I'm definitely not marrying her. _(Got that the fuck right.)_ But everyone is going to hate me after this. That's not really what I wanted to happen . . ."

_You really don't want to know what I want to happen, Naruto,_ my mind traveled freely. I didn't have the strength to deny anymore. My mind got freer.

Before I could come back to reality and answer the question, verbally, he had finished off his bowl of beef ramen. He reached for his glass of . . . My heart skipped a beat nervously. I was nervous all over. It didn't show.

I watch apprehensively as the foggy gray-white liquid slips between his moist lips and sinks down his throat. I observe the taut neck tendons with as straight a face I can, the saliva that just traveled up into my mouth staying put, for I didn't want to admit that I had to gulp at the mere sight of liquid slithering down into his small stomach. I'm not sure how you couldn't with the way I just fucking explained it.

He made a face. Not completely grossed out, but more like 'what the hell is this?'. I blinked and swallowed. Then in a trancelike state, I looked at the drink. I furrowed my eyebrows. Gray-white smoky liquid that didn't even look like a consumable drink. I suppose I could have worked a bit harder on making it less suspicious. Not my best work.

". . . I don't know what it is . . . but it's not bad," he finished it off in an eager chug. "More?" he asked me with his face stretched up innocently. I blanched. I forced my eyes to shallow a little and gulped down another wad of unwanted spit. "No. Sleep now." I was at the verge of fidgeting. I couldn't fidget. It would ruin his reliance on me.

I turned on my heel and began to exit. As his voice came to my ears, I stopped short. I chose to stay turned as he spoke almost frantically. He said, "Wait, where are you going? You wanna, like, go out to town or something? Just, you know, catch up? It'd be fun." Wasn't he supposed to be a nervous wreck? Now he just sounds . . . shy. Neither of us has ever been shy. Was he that afraid I hated him? I stood still.

I denied. Politely, of course . . . He's fragile today. He's just called off his wedding after all. It must be a lot to deal with. (I smirked.)

"Not tonight. Tomorrow, maybe. If you feel up to it. You need rest for now."

Well, not denied, per se. More like postponed. I can at least put off the inevitable to save my own sanity for one more day.

"Goodnight, Sasuke." I could hear the teasing ridicule in his voice. Could easily imagine the mock smile. He was playing me as much as I was playing him.

_(I wouldn't have it any other way.)_

Oh just fuck the entire world.

* * *

:333 How you like them bananas? Sasuke's being mind-fucked. :) (I love writing mind-fuck.) I heart you Sasuke. You the shizz. :P 

It took longer to fix this up then I thought. I'll do the next chapter tomorrow after church. Adieu.

_Love,_

**Paramour**


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